lost in the supermarket
Written by emma
i've been working through a period of depression for about a month now. though if i'm honest with myself, it has been longer than that, the house of cards simply toppled in the last month. it is an interesting thing, depression. i'm very much a believer in mental health treatment, i work my way through getting better using coping skills i've learned in therapy. i also know when it is time to ask for help and see a therapist again or adjust the medication i take. so in all of this, a very active approach to getting through this, i find myself in moments of happiness, follow by times of sadness.
i try not to worry too much during the periods of sadness. the analyst in me would say that a period of happiness indicates i have not forgotten how to be happy, and that with time i can find long term happiness. i think the easiest way to describe the situation i'm in is that most of the time, i find myself in aisle 3, which is sadness and despair. i know happiness is in aisle 9, but i don't know how to get there intentionally, even if i've seen the shelves and the location before. somehow, for a brief period, i just find myself in aisle 9 randomly, able to take happiness off of the shelf to my heart's content.
there's much at play as to why i cycle back and forth between moods. there is much uncertainty in my life, and that can make anyone nervous or unsure of what the future holds. still though, and i will repeat it every time for myself and for you who may be going through this. i will persist. i have seen aisle 9, i know what aisle 9 is, i know i can intentionally work my way over to it one day. with time, care, love and support. one day, i'll come home with two paper bags of love
Later Gator