Walk with me for a moment

The past few weeks have had their ups and downs. With the grey months coming in I've felt my mood become a little less happy overall. A few days I found it hard to really be motivated to do much. But I have to look back at these last few weeks and pat myself on the back a bit, because there are quite a few wins sprinkled in there that I must acknowledge to myself.

Getting out and seeing the world

For the first time probably since 2021, I went to a physical grocery store to shop. I know this may seem odd, but you have to understand currently I cannot go to the pharmacy for longer than 20 minutes without feeling like I will have a panic attack (I once had a panic attack at the pharmacy waiting for medication related to preventing panic attacks). So this is quite an accomplishment for me. To feel confident enough to go around and pick out items without fear or worry or my chest tightening up was huge. I spent about 30 minutes at the store getting everything I need and was quite proud of myself for doing so. I'm hoping that doing this allows me to go to the pharmacy when necessary with more confidence and allow me to avoid the feeling of fear that has been so present.

Checklists are okay actually

For the first time in my life I used a checklist to keep track of tasks. Lists and I never really got along. I find them particularly overwhelming and have done everything I can to avoid them. I once wouldn't perform a task at a job because it involved a long list of phone numbers to call. I had no problem with the calling, it was that the numbers were on a list. I don't think that person had ever had work handed back to them like that, I guess refusing to do something was a first for me too. I certainly realized lists and I weren't going to get along.

But recently I've been seeking treatment for ADHD, and one of the things I've noticed is that I don't look at lists with as much disdain. I do find them helpful, as long as I take care to craft them in a helpful way. A list can only have so many items on it. In the case of a task list that breaks items up per day, I must be careful to distribute items equally throughout the week or I will overwhelm myself and not get anything done on the busy day with too many tasks.

Still, this is progress. I used a task list successfully for the past two weeks to keep track of things I needed to do. It has worked very well!

Webweaver, certified

Last but not least is a huge accomplishment for me. I successfully completed the freeCodeCamp Responsive Web Design course and got my certificate. Now, this certificate is really just that I completed the course and passed all tests for the 5 projects. But what it really is to me is validation that I can stick with something and learn it while following a course to completion. This is the first online course I've ever completed. I have too many half finished or barely completed online courses in my life, and again I think I have to credit this one to seeking treatment for ADHD. I work much more consistently now rather than getting over excited about something new and burning the wick at both ends until nothing is left and I give up. This is a good start, and I'm looking forward to learning more, finally with a combination of excitement and an understanding to take things slow and steady.

Celebrate yourself too!

These may seem like small items, or maybe like me, you never dreamed you could do these things. But I think every day all of us accomplish a few things we should be proud of. If you are in a situation where you need to celebrate getting out of bed each day, do it, I mean it. You are saying you will keep pushing forward and helping yourself, that's an excellent attitude. Keep trying, keep getting help where you can, keep celebrating any success big or small. You're worth it.

Later Gator